The night's marquee racewas in Virginia where Democrat Ralph Northam defeated Republican Ed Gillespie
for governor. And, uh, President Trump
was not taking it well. WOMAN: Traveling in South Korea,
the president, who endorsed Gillespie,
but did not campaign for him, offering this criticism of the
campaign overnight, tweeting, "Ed Gillespie worked hard, but did not embrace me
or what I stand for." -Goddamn!
-(Laughter) Trump does not play games with
how fast he will abandon you. Like, he just quit the guy
out of nowhere.
I bet you, one day
when the U.S. Economy crashes, Trump's gonna be like,
"What a loser economy. I've never even heard
of America." (Laughter) "I'm from Sweden. Guten Tag." (Laughter) And as much as Trump wants
people to believe Gillespie lost because he didn't embrace
Trump's worldview, the truth is, Gillespie did everything
but grab someone by the pussy.
Just look... Just look
at some Gillespie campaign ads. MAN: Ralph Northam wants
to take down Virginia's Civil War monuments. Ed Gillespie
will preserve them.
I'm for keeping 'em up,
and he's for taking 'em town. WOMAN: Ralph Northam voted
in favor of sanctuary cities that let dangerous illegal
immigrants back on the street, increasing the threat of MS-13. If I'm elected
Virginia's governor, I'll fight to make it legal
for adult individuals to be free to purchase fireworks
like this. And we can celebrate
Independence Day -in true American fashion.
- (Hissing) (laughter) Aah...! (Laughter) I mean, you laugh, but that was his most
successful run this year.
AUDIENCE MEMBERS:
Oh! Oh! -(Applause and cheering)
-(imitating fireworks popping) I love how...
I love how he's like, "I don't know why
the government is trying "to restrict us
from these fireworks. Aah!" (Laughter) But when you look
at the bigger picture, you know who really won big
in last night's elections? Karma. Yes, Karma--
the spiritual principle that the universe will reward
good actions and punish bad ones. Uh, sort of like this.
Oh. (Man mutters) (laughter) (applause, laughter) So, last night... Last night, that basically happened
all across America. (Laughter) Incumbents were defeated
by the very thing they were being dicks about.
For instance, in New Jersey. WOMAN: Ashley Bennett
unseated John Carman as a Freeholder
in Atlantic County. You may remember Carman mocked the Women's March
in Washington. He wrote on Facebook,
"Will the Women's March be over -in time for them to cook
dinner?" -(Audience groans) Bennett protested his comments
at a meeting, and then decided to run
for his seat, and she won.
(Cheers and applause) Carman, meet Karma. (Laughter) He was worried about women
having time to make dinner, and now Karma has given him
all the time he needs -to make his own dinner.
-(Laughter) Enjoy your Hot Pockets, be-itch. (Applause) Karma was all over America. In Helena, Montana, the mayor, who did not want
to host refugees in his city, lost his re-election bid
to a Liberian refugee.
(Applause and cheering) So... Enjoy your Hot Pockets,
be-itch. -(Laughter) -Sorry. My mom said
I should work on a catchphrase so I'm trying it out.
But Karma's greatest achievement
surely came in last night's race for the 13th District in the
Virginia House of Delegates. MAN: Danica Roem making history
in Virginia. The 33-year-old
former journalist elected as the nation's first openly
transgender state lawmaker. She defeats 13-term incumbent Robert Marshall,
who proclaimed himself Virginia's "chief homophobe." -(Audience groans)
-Wow.
Really? Chief homophobe. Not only is that insulting
to gay people, it's also insulting
to other homophobes. You don't own the movement, bro. It's a democracy.
And when you
put it all together-- the Democratic landslides,
the victories for refugees, trans people, people of color--
it was a horrible night for people like Sean Hannity. Which you can tell
by how much time he spent covering all of the results
on his hour-long show. Sean Hannity next.
Our coverage continues throughout the night. Hey, Sean.
-All right, thanks, Tucker.
By the way, those results in
Virginia, New Jersey, New York, by the way,
not states Donald Trump won. Welcome to Hannity.
President Trump is in Seoul. He is in South Korea...
-(Laughter)
-Five seconds?! Five seconds,
that's all the time you gave to reporting that news,
five seconds? That's not enough time to cook
your Hot Pockets, beyatch. (Laughter, applause,
whooping, whistling) It's working, Mom! You know how
Sean Hannity did that? He just threw it out there--
he delivered that line like a guy who spilled
mayonnaise on his pants before he got to work, and now
he just walks in the office like, "Morning, everyone. I know
I've got mayonnaise on my pants. "Let's get to work.
Let's go on.
Let's move on. Any questions? Not about
the mayonnaise. Let's move on.".
Post a Comment